Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
