she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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