She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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