you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This house was built for laser tag.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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