What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
