I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
