Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dicks are not precious.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
