I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
