just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is my gift to your gina
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize