When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
