The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
