there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
