is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
