I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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