I didn't shave. On purpose
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
