I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
