I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
