Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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