can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
