He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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