so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
