Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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