Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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