plz talk dirty to me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Congratulations! We have a period
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