Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
