I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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