so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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