This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
