The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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