Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so explain again why im purple
no
You smell like a Billy Joel song
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
