Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
