I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just invented taco cereal.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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