I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
