I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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