She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
