she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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