yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
