I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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