I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
