I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
