Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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