I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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