yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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