Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Life is so much better after having sex.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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