My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
