so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
