Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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