dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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