after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
