Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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