You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
