Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
